there’s nothing you can do to change your path in life. whatever happens, happens.

i live in a state of statelessness. i waste my life away staring at a screen, making memories i’ll forget tomorrow.

i feel at peace when i am alone. that’s not something i can say is for sure the truth or a lie, either. i’ve always wanted to be and have been someone who boosts the mood of other people, sparks or continues conversation.

anyone i do talk to, i will never, ever see again.

that’s why i just sit and play video games all day. the people i’m supposed to love and cherish the most just don’t give me the same sense of completion or joy that they did when i was 8.

i cry myself to sleep at nights where i realize, for the third time that indiscriminate time measure, i am, by default and by law of nature, made to be replaced by something inherently greater.

why do we cherish ourselves and each other so much when, in the grand scheme of things, our ancestors did the same and our great, great grandchildren will do the same?

i want to be boring. i want to be self-destructive and ruin my eyesight at 1 am on a school night playing god fucking knows what with the two 99.9% identical primates that i call my “best friends”.

because there’s nothing else to do. why not be half-alone for 80 years while i wait?

wasting my time and “isolating” myself distracts me from the fact that no matter what i do, it does not contribute anything to the endlessness of human kind, space, time, or life.

02:05

f 02:13